In the light of setting goals for the New Year, and improving our personal lives, as well as our professional lives, we're going to talk about a course called the Landmark Forum that has had a huge impact in my life, as well as my friend Bronson Hill's life. Bronson has been investing in real estate since 2006 and is an active general partner in over 700 multi-family units. His passion is to help others invest in multifamily, and he co-leads a large monthly meetup of multifamily investors in Pasadena, California, called FIBI Pasadena Multifamily.
Landmark Forum classes available can be found here: https://www.landmarkworldwide.com/searchResults?prgid=7&pgid=117&crid=840&ctid=-1&sdt=-1&ofr=true
Why did you decide to take Landmark after we were having a conversation at an event earlier this year?
We were at the Real Estate Guys Cruise or Summit at Sea, and I've had some friends talk about Landmark and I'm into personal development. I do lots of different personal development courses or classes or just even seminars, and different types of things. I'd heard about Landmark from several people and they all were very successful people.
Then I heard your endorsement when you said, hey, you have to take it, it's just going to change your life. I was like, OK, I guess I have to take it now. I guess it's going to change my life. That's what got me to sign up. I really didn't have much by way of expectations. I just kind of just went in with an open mind and the results of it were pretty profound. It really lived up to that endorsement that you gave that it really has substantially changed my life in the areas of communication, becoming more authentic, particularly in areas where I've been inauthentic with people, correcting some of those things, and really opening up all different types of new possibilities for business, and for relationships. Just pretty much in every way in so many aspects of my life. I have not found a personal development event that is better than this event. And actually compared to other events, it's substantially less expensive. For many reasons, it exceeded every expectation, and I endorse it to everybody. Everybody should go to the Landmark Forum.
I wholeheartedly agree. And from what I recall in our conversation, I actually said, Bronson, you are good, your life is good, you don't need this. And then it turned out that you actually got something out of it for your family, for example. Do you want to share a little bit about that?
Sure. Like I said, I just came with with not many expectations. Where it really impacted me the most was in my close relationships, and just relationships with my family. The few things that really impacted and significantly changed was my relationship with my dad. There were some things that we had been going through and I felt that in the last year we were much more distant. I was able to own some things that I have made him responsible for in my life and was able to make that right with them. And the same with my brother, who, something happened when we were kids and I was still living out. This sounds absolutely ridiculous, but we live out of these realities where we were literally playing with Legos at five, six, seven years old.
And I had viewed him as a bully since then. And so even now, we're both in our thirties and still living out what happened when we were years and years younger. So that was very significant. We had a great conversation. At the end he said, wow, I'm so glad that we had this conversation, I've been waiting for this call for a long time. And actually, probably the most significant one was with my former spouse that I've been divorced for a few years. We went through a legal process that was just very challenging. I called her up and said, hey, I'm sorry, I've been inauthentic in my communication.
And I shared some things that I had been really making her responsible for certain things and making her wrong for. So that I could be right, and really looking at her like she wasn't safe. And so anyway, this is something that she had experienced from me in the way we related, but we just never really talked about it. When we talked about it I said, I'm really sorry that I've done this, I'd like to create something different that, in this situation, maybe we're not angry, divorced or married, but we have this third option where we can co-parent our seven year old daughter effectively together, be kind and supportive in a friendship way. So it really opened up a new possibility. But I'd say for those three relationships, it just was very, very significant for me.
I love how this work literally has ripple effects around the people that take it, even though the people around you haven't taken it. For me, for example, what I got out of it, I used to get upset fairly easily at my loved ones, my immediate family. And ninety five percent of that is completely gone. And it has been transformational. What I realized is that when I remain calm under these situations where, let's say you are visiting your mother and you're thinking, oh my gosh, here comes my mom, budding into my life. No, she's simply asking you a question because she loves you. And then when I remain calm, when my mom, for example, would get upset, I see that she ends up becoming calm herself. It does not escalate. Things are so much smoother as a result of this work. I took Tony Robbins quite a few years ago and it was amazing for two weeks and then everything disappeared. And with this work, you get it, and it's for life. And that's why I want to make sure we take this episode to talk about it, because I want the world to get this for themselves as well. Have you discovered anything else in the communications area, or performance area of work?
I just want to say something really quickly, I had a friend who's a big Tony Robbins guy too, and he just came to this event recently with the Forum. And he pretty much said exactly what you said. "Wow, this is really going to create lasting change". And I think the thing that really makes this program effective is that there's the idea where it really uncovers blind spots for you and for me because there's the idea of we don't know what we don't know. We have certain things that we know, we know we know Spanish, or we know we know Farsi, or we know that we don't know Spanish, or we don't know Farsi. But there's this huge area of blind spots that we have no idea what's there. And really, this gives you a platform and structures and ways to help implement that in your life and just create really powerful, positive change. I actually had a couple other breakthroughs in the area of communication where there's a part two of the Forum called the Advanced Course. With that I realized I'd been inauthentic in my communication with one of my coworkers, or my bosses. So I called them up on a Sunday, it felt weird to call them up on a Sunday, because we usually talk at work. And I said, hey, it's really important can you talk for a minute. And I just said, hey, this thing happened in business. And I really made this about myself.
I just want to say something really quickly, I had a friend who's a big Tony Robbins guy too, and he just came to this event recently with the Forum. And he pretty much said exactly what you said. "Wow, this is really going to create lasting change". And I think the thing that really makes this program effective is that there's the idea where it really uncovers blind spots for you and for me because there's the idea of we don't know what we don't know. We have certain things that we know, we know we know Spanish, or we know we know Farsi, or we know that we don't know Spanish, or we don't know Farsi. But there's this huge area of blind spots that we have no idea what's there. And really, this gives you a platform and structures and ways to help implement that in your life and just create really powerful, positive change. I actually had a couple other breakthroughs in the area of communication where there's a part two of the Forum called the Advanced Course. With that I realized I'd been inauthentic in my communication with one of my coworkers, or my bosses. So I called them up on a Sunday, it felt weird to call them up on a Sunday,because we usually talk at work. And I said, hey, it's really important can you talk for a minute. And I just said, hey, this thing happened in business. And I really made this about myself.
I was actually calling my old boss the other day and I said, you are leading an organization here. You're taking this to the next level. You have to take this. So yes, work is also a huge benefit in terms of performance, just doing things without thinking about all the stories that we make up in our heads that are completely non true, and how much time do we waste thinking about these things and not acting, is really incredible. The weight that gets out of your shoulders to just go and do it, especially for those people that always say that they're busy. This might be another area to look at.
Absolutely. I think that so many aspects of this that are powerful, transforming. And I think that we we don't really make space for things like this in our lives, and our life just goes on. And it does take intentional effort. I think it truly is action that creates these differences. And that's what's unique about it. It's not an informational type of event. Even on the breaks, and while you're in the middle of it, you're taking action, you're making phone calls, you're making things right. And when you get done with this you realize "Wow my life looks a lot different. It looks a lot different than it did.
One of the distinctions that is near and dear to my heart was when they told us to, "Give up being right, even though we think we might be right." I was thinking what do you mean? If I'm right, I'm right. What do you mean give up being right? And I vividly remember when someone close to me said something, and I was doing my homework of giving up being right. So I was going to react to what that person said. And I chose to zip it. And it turned out that that person was saying something completely different than what I thought he was saying. So that has been super helpful as well. What other distinctions are now part of your life?
Yes, I totally agree. I think, being right is an issue for a lot of people and of me, I've always right, but everybody else isn't. It's something that we all think that we're right. It can be hard to let go. And I felt like this gives a real, authentic way. And I keep using that word authentic. I think there's a lot of ways we can move forward, but we really lose connection with people or we don't really live out of a place of integrity with ourselves. And this program really gives the opportunity to walk in a way that feels more authentic, where you can actually be closer to people. And I've experienced that. I think when we can let go of having to be right, and this will give you tools on how to do that. And again, it's just a totally different way of thinking and it's just the idea of being transformed in a way that you're thinking.
And when you talk about integrity, that reminds me of the exercise that they tell us to do, which is if we are late to something, or we're not fulfilling on the promise that we have made. We have to "restore integrity". And the way that you do that is by saying "I said that I was supposed to be here at 2pm, I am here at 2:01 (you don't give any excuses about it because it invalidates restoring your integrity). And then you say something like "The impact on you is that you don't know if I'm going to show up or not. And next time, moving forward, I'll make sure that I leave 15 minutes earlier." What that brought me present to, as I was restoring integrity for literally being one minute late for a phone call, was that, yes, there is an impact on people when we don't show up and when we don't keep our word.
This was brutal for me.You talk about being one minute late and it was one of the most challenging things for me. But on the one hand it really gets you to think about all the empty words and all the things that we say, oh, we're going to do this. We're going to do that. I'll show up here at this time, and we don't do a lot of it. And now it comes down to our word, what does our word really mean? And we think, oh, no, this is really important, or I promise, or whatever. And it's like if our word doesn't mean what we say it means, then there's inconsistency. And that's the idea of integrity, really not being a moral issue of this is right and this is wrong. It's simply, this really isn't functional for where you're trying to go, because if you're saying you're going to do something and you don't, then there's a problem there. And so even by going to these really small things like, OK, I'm a minute late and saying, hey, I have to restore this and I'm going to try to be on time next time. I just want you know, I see that. And it's amazing the ripple effects of that throughout the rest of your life where you realize, I told people these things, I've said, I'm going to call them, I've said I'm going to do this and I don't even intend to do it.
And the biggest thing about integrity is, more than how it affects other people, it's really about ourselves, how we view ourselves and how we look at ourselves. I found that, my view of myself started changing "I actually am somebody that can keep my word. I actually can follow through. I actually can follow through on promises and things that I tell people that I'll do. And if I can't, I'll call ahead of time and say "Hey, this is what's going on. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm sorry." I think when you put more weight to your words, it really allows you to live from a place of being consistent.
And when you mention I'll try to be on time next time, they actually don't like the word "try", you either do it or you don't.
It's like Master Yoda. You do or do not. There should be a Yoda in that class.
The integrity does end up having the ripple effect on how people look at you. They know that they can count on you when you start showing up when you said you were going to show up, or not. So that brings a whole different way that people look at you and how they're going to work with you even.
Yes, think of it in this way, if you have a team member and, they're going to show up 20 minutes later for everything, and you ask them to do something, and they'll say yes, but they may or may not do it. It becomes totally unreliable. And then we realize, the more we look at it, well, I've been that team member in certain areas of my life, or my friendships, or in other things. And so I think in a way, it's very humbling because it's just like, oh, wow, I really miss this in a way. But I think that there's a humility that comes from just realizing that I am not perfect.
And the more that I can learn in areas that it will allow me to grow, and the more consistent I will be, the more it will allow me to be a better team player, a better family member, whether it's a son, or a brother, or spouse, or whatever that is. Those things are all really important and people want to know that they have someone that they can count on. The words we use, as well as integrity are huge.
I recently learned a distinction of "being cause in the matter", which means "Today I'm going to do this" and then you just go and you do it, instead of not doing it, or, oh, something else popped up. Have you experienced that yet?
That's a big one. As I've made these changes, it has allowed me to be like "I'm going to do this". And I speak it out and I say this, and I just do it. If I have to make ten calls today, it's really not that hard. I can sit and watch TV, I can procrastinate or do different things. But you talk about the arena of performance where "What does it mean?" It means that you have ten calls to make. You literally pick up the phone and you call the first person, and whatever the result is, if you get a sale or if they say something positive. And if not, you made the call, then you make the next call, and then you hang up the phone. You just do this. And it comes down to, very successful people, just simply pick up the phone or they just simply take the next step. I really believe it's so simple.
Exactly. I was doing that yesterday and I cannot describe how powerful that was. It brought me present to, wow, this is easy. You're just do it, that's it.
Exactly. It's not difficult. A lot of what we do in life, it's not that difficult. What is difficult is that we make it difficult for ourselves. I'm dreading calling this person or oh, I don't know, I want to get these other things done. And it's just, when you actually just say, I'm just going to do this and I'm going to sit and I'm going to make these calls, I'm going to sit at the computer. I'm going to write these emails, whatever it is, and you just do it. It really is very, very simple. That's what I hear when I hear cause in the matter. I actually have so much power to bring positive change in my life. Or I can just sit and complain about all the things that I don't have control over. Versus you actually get up and you do something, and you actually take an action step. Even if it's a small step. You take a step towards where you want to go. And it's amazing what happens when you get in motion.
How incredible. I'm always so touched to hear what people got out of the Landmark Forum. Thank you for making the time. Is there anything that I forgot or that you got that you would like to share?
Yeah, the biggest thing for me, it really is something that there are very few things that live up to their recommendation. And this is something that for me has just been above and beyond what I would imagine. They talk about opening new possibilities that you can be a part of creating any possibility for your life that you want. And we're told that there are so many limits, and you can't do this because of your circumstances, your friends, or people told you things. And this is a way to erase all that. And be like, well, what do I want to create? What do I want to create with my life? What sort of difference do I want to make? What sort of impact? What sort of financially, in a relationship, all of these things. And it's amazingly empowering to be able to have a clean slate in your life and have the chslk in your hand, and create what you want to create. And that's really what this program gives you. And again, there's no pitch, there's no notches or level marketing, there's nothing like that. There's no compensation given, it's just that this is something that impacted both of our lives. And for the person listening, I would really encourage you to check it out. You can go to an info night. Typically they do monthly info nights in different parts of the country. I think they're in 30 countries in the world, and over 3 million people have taken this program. It has been studied by Harvard and all kinds of things. That's just how to improve your life in substantial ways. So two thumbs up from Bronson Hill.
Landmark Forum classes available can be found here: https://www.landmarkworldwide.com/searchResults?prgid=7&pgid=117&crid=840&ctid=-1&sdt=-1&ofr=true
Let us know if you end up taking it, we would love to hear your breakthroughs and how it has impacted your life!
Steff Boldrini
https://www.linkedin.com/in/steffbold/
Bronson Hill
www,growingcashflow.com/